Katrina.  Such a tragedy.  So disheartening.  I cry every time I read/read the news. It’s so much more than the hurricane itself.  It’s about how the US government reacted to the disaster.  Fucking G. ASSHOLE B. 

Crash.  Definitely my new favorite movie of all time.  So touching.  Yet so depressing.  It’s in the whole movie.  I can see the director really tries to put a smile on your face at the end of each story and make the whole thing not so gloomy.  But the flow of the whole movie just gets me sad and irritated!  Such a teargas.   

War of The Worlds.  Nothing but another high-budget movie.  Amazing visual effect, though.  I watched it right after Katrina and Crash, within a week.  That’s why I mentioned it here.  It doesn’t matter what color your skin is or if you are a racist.  When aliens come attacking the Planet Earth, we are all one thing under one name—humans. 

I used to be a firm believer of this “love can save everything” theory.  And by love I mean love of mankind.  Not just adoration between couples.  But as I grew up and learned to look at the world from different perspectives, especially learned the whole Katrina thing and what might happen to the American society and its problematic government, the idea of “not everyone believes love is universal” kind of shocked me.  I mean look at the world now, what do you see?  Wars, tyrannies, poverty, racism, and all those other different types of discrimination, etc.  What the hell is going on?  What’s with all the bias???  Aren’t we all one big family—human beings?  Or was I just being too naive?  I feel so small and fragile.  Is there anything I can do to make it better?  People keep telling me to live my own life and quit worrying so much about other people that are not related.  According to them, I should get a money-making job, find someone I love, get married, buy a house, raise some kids, support the parents, and I will live happily ever after, my life will be fulfilled.  They say there is nothing you can do to change the world.  The world will operate the same way as it always does.  Ordinary people like you and me are not capable to make any changes.  We are not strong enough.  We are far from it.  But I think maybe I CAN and I SHOULD do something.  Because isn’t this the way the world has been developed?  By accumulating little efforts of individuals?  I’ve been laughed at countless times by this thought.  They say it is not my responsibility.   

Now here comes another question: what exactly is a person’s responsibility?  I’ve been blamed for not having the sense of responsibility by only wanting to do what I want to do without considering what my family needs.  I don’t know what to say to talk back.  I guess this truly IS a dilemma.  To be a good child, you should be able to “really” take care of your parents, namely, regularly talk to and visit them, and more importantly, support them financially.  If you find a career only based on your interest but not considering the economic potential, you are an irresponsible person!  You are a selfish bastard!  Why is it all about the god-damned money in this society now???  Green power really freaking rules!  I know it’s your own life, but when it comes to your responsibility for your parents, I don’t know if anyone in China can live with such imputation. 

Yet it all depends upon how you look at the situation.  It’s your stance that rules your life.  I will make my own decisions one way or another!  I am looking for my answers and will be looking.  Keep the faith and keep searching…